Here’s to the present (and why I was much cooler as a child)

Here’s a funny thing.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about it.

The reason why everything have felt so effing hard is because of thoughts. There was really not much of external problems. It was my mind.

And so while I try to learn this new thing called “Don’t judge yourself”, I feel the need to judge myself a little bit for this. For me overthinking from the lava in the middle of the earth out to the next galaxy.

I miss the younger me. I was a much cooler kid when I was younger. I didn’t ask much for permission: whether it was society or people close to me. I didn’t ask so many confusing, deep questions about everything. I just did things. I didn’t care if I was good at it, if it was “meant to be” or anything. I just lived life.

So that’s one part of adulting that really has had me fooled: Trying to overcomplicate shit and be so “smart” and “reflective” over everything and making sure perfectionism has had it’s peak of it’s own.

I was excited about the future – not stressed about it. I didn’t stress about tests. I didn’t think about what path would lead to what. I just went ahead and did things.

I think for the past 2 years I’ve had more of a mess in my mind that I’ve had all through my teenager years. Yes. I was a pretty stable teenager. It’s as if puberty hit me mentally in my late teens/early 20’s.

I really don’t need to read any more motivational or inspirational books. Today I bought “The Power Of Now”. It’s supposed to give you insight into how not identify yourself with your thoughts, and become more aware of the present. To live in the present. All there is now is now. Not the future. Not the past.

When I study I get worried about my grades. And then my degree. And then my future. Fuck.

When I work on a project I would rather give into procrastination, I ask myself “Is this taking me towards my goal? Am I going to be happy with this when I’m 40?”

Sometimes, it can be nice to take a minute and reflect over certain things. To have some sort of goal or direction.

But if you’re going to live your life based on the future every single fucking second, you’re never going to enjoy the present. Because one day, the future will become present. And you won’t be able to focus. And the results will just get shittier in the future than if you actually focused on what you had in front of you right now. If you plan everything and are always going to make sure you’re always following what you had “planned”, you’ll never leave room for the exciting, hidden, uncertain things that are just waiting to give you a even better surprise.

So cheers: Here’s to the present.

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6 things you should do before 2018

I’ve always thought planning a new year, making new year resolutions and setting goals is a fun and strategic thing to do. But today I thought “Why only make plans for something you’re going to wait for doing, when there are things you can do right away?”.

So here are some tips & tricks you can do before the year of 2017 ends (Yikes!):

  • Declutter: What better way to start off the new year than with a clean and organized space? Then you get an even better and expanded feeling of starting fresh! Throw out things you don’t need, old things you never use and have fun organizing!

    Some inspiration from weheartit to make you wanna clean and keep it tidy 🙂

     

  • Do something you wanted to do this year, but never got to. Hey! There’s still some time left to achieve this year’s resolutions. When the semester is over, why not take the time as soon as your last test is done? Create that vision board, read that book or take that road trip you always wanted to happen!

 

  • Already start preparing for the next semester! Now you might be like “Whoah whoah – already? But I’m not even finished with THIS semester!”. Here’s the thing: It’s a 1000 times less stressful reading for new classes when you know there’s no exams or deadlines in the near future. It might be a bit “boring” when you’re supposed to take some time off, but it will save you for SO much stress later in the semester. Besides, you can make it cozy & chill! No need for die hard studying in the holidays when there’s five months left until your next test…9824fbf1-5d4a-436e-ad46-26c07681195cSome study tips I wrote in my planner early this semster. 🙂

 

  • Get into a workout & meditation routine. It might be good to already start developing some healthy habits in this type of the holiday season… Start slow – and then it will become easier to get into a routine in the next year! Oh, and if you haven’t tried out meditation before: Why not test it out before the new year?

 

  • Show some extra love for friends & family. They are an important part of your life and should feel appreciated ❤ Make the end of their year a little bit better. 😉

 

  • Reflect over 2017. What was the highlights? What can I improve next year? What do I want to change? What made me truly happy that I wish more of? I don’t think it’s a bad idea to maybe write a page or two on this in a journal or on your computer/phone – just feelings and thoughts you have regarding this year.Processed with VSCO with 5 presetThese last days has mostly consisted of studying my butt off… 🙂 Cheers to December!

Thinking about doing some of these tips? Do you have any tips for me? ❤️ 

Happy holidays, guys! xx

Why I need to leave, new thoughts ++

Long time no see (a month, to be precise).

These past weeks has been really… Weird? I don’t know. Ever since my little meltdown in the September vlog, there’s been some ups and downs. I had some few more meltdowns. And then I got to my breaking point. From there, I would say I’m slowly, in a way, moving upwards. But it’s still hard at times. I’ve just gotten to the point where I realized I’ve gotten my frustration out enough.

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People tell me not to stress. But it doesn’t have that much with stress to do. It’s my desperate need of going out and getting new impulses. Experience. Have new thoughts. Discover new environments.

I’m someone who can’t stand just being in a little bubble. There’s so much out there. And in especially at this age and at a time where I want to taste everything. Ever since I got home from film school last year, I’ve wanted to go into different directions. But I can’t think my way to new impulses. I need to experience them.

The night before Monday I made my decision, and ordered an appointment for the morning after to fix a new passport. Now I’m not talking about some super long year abroad-type of thing (because of school), but I have decided that I need to drop some lectures to make this happen. I’ll update you on this one, of course.

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So now, for last: I thought, why not make a little list of thoughts I’ve had/things I’ve learned or tried out these past months:

Will it help to stay a bit off social media? Think about how much information and distractions you’re exposed to every single day because of social media. I love social media, but it can always a be a bit too much of everything. Not that just wasting time on your phone can be bad itself, but you see what everyone else is doing, compare yourself – and that’s a distraction itself. That’s a lot of noice and voices. Your inner voice gets lower. That’s another type than just the “my phone distracts me from doing my homework” kind of distraction.

And also I’ve realized how much I thought I had been working just because I’m posting pictures on Instagram or putting out mystoryes on Snapchat. I’ve spent less time planning and making sure I create good content for YouTube, than “hang out” on social media. That’s bad (especially for someone who is supposed to be a YouTuber, lol).

Lately I’ve actually managed to not check my phone that often, and I’ve realized it actually makes a positive impact on me inside. So for various reasons why I try to stay more away: 1. Not get distracted by others lives 2. Spend that time to do what really matters 3. Not feel like I have to update everyone every hour of the day.

Other than that, school is actually going great, and I’m super happy with the response on my new single “I Don’t Care” which I will link down below. Recording the lyric video this week as well. Now this is the positive type of stress that I enjoy: Having a lot to do which includes learning new things at school and being creative with my side hustle projects.

My new single “I Don’t Care” on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/4V20ZgIBZQgqOHGEdaBwhT

Also, I had a role in a commercial shoot yesterday for my school! It’s always fun and different to be on a different type of set with make up artists, directors, photographers ++ than just you and your camera in your bedroom (even though I enjoy that, too).

My latest video where I talk a little bit about have I’ve felt lately:

Hope everyone is having a fantastic week, and we’ll talk soon!

Photos by Maria V.

Apartment tour + 29 questions!

First English video I’ve posted after I released the English trailer! Take a look inside my apartment while I’m answering some questions 😀 Let me know in the comments if there are any other type of videos you’d like to see in the future! 🙂 xoxo Tina Mondelia

 

Late night thoughts + I did it!

It’s 2am at night, and I’m actually blogging from the phone + I got school in the morning. That’s how much I feel inspired to write something now. 🙂

You know when I feel safe? I feel safe when I can  be hurt and have negative thoughts, but yet feel like you’re in a good place. Where I’m thankful, grateful, but still accept the fact that you’re going  to have a negative thought here and there, and maybe even feel pain.

Something I’ve been more heads up on lately, is how important your relations to your loved ones are. How you treat people. How lucky you are if someone tells you they are proud of you and something you did, or just wanted to write you something.

Today I’ve gotten endlessly of support. I took the chance that I’ve been waiting for so long: I announced on my YouTube channel that I’m switching over to speaking in English in my videos. I was terrified. There were so many reasons not to do it. I could lose potential sponsorships, lose viewers and so on. But then there was that one reason: That big dream.

I’ve been honest with myself, and realized that if I was going to be able to create my dream content and put fully focus into my passion project beside school, I had to make some changes. I honestly regretted posting the announcement for like an hour afterwards, but then I remembered why I did it. And then all the overwhelming, positive response made it a lot easier as well. ❤️

I’ve seen long texts by fan accounts on Instagram, snaps and comments on the announcement video. It makes my heart warm to see comments from both friends and viewers – all my loved ones ❤️

I’m excited. I feel strong. I’m ready to take on the world! Wanna join me? Do what you’ve always wanted to do today. No, not tomorrow. Take that first step! And then you’re on your way… ☺️

The announcement video. It’s in Norwegian though, obviously. Excited for English content to come! Video here